A toast at a wedding (or any other important celebration) can be a much more nerve-wracking experience than choosing outfits, buying gifts, or traveling to the event.
It’s no wonder most people avoid this moment and prefer to share heartfelt words privately.
But if you are among those who decide to make a public speech, we recommend brushing up on the rules of etiquette outlined below.
Don’t jump ahead
At modern weddings, there is almost always a host who guides the proceedings, including when it’s best to give congratulations.
There is also a hierarchy for giving toasts. If parents of the bride and groom or close relatives are present, let them speak first before making your own speech.
Pay attention to the general atmosphere of the event and avoid stepping ahead of planned congratulations.
Better yet, inform the organizers before the banquet that you would like to give a toast.
Remember, it’s normal to feel nervous
Stay calm.
Almost every guest feels nervous when it’s time to speak out loud.
In a way, nervousness works in favor of those who overthink their words since a brief congratulatory toast can be just as meaningful.
It’s perfectly natural to feel anxious, especially when everyone’s eyes are on you.
Try not to dwell on it and simply say what feels right.
Plan your toast in advance
The best thing a guest can do before giving a toast is to plan it ahead of time.
This doesn’t mean you need to write out your speech and memorize it word for word.
The key is to note the main points you want to cover, rehearse them a couple of times, and align your tone with the overall mood of the event.
If you’re unsure whether you’ll remember everything you want to say, prepare a brief outline or key points to glance at.
Keep it brief
Some wedding toasts can drag on, which isn’t ideal for the speaker or the evening’s atmosphere.
It’s one thing to stumble over words due to nerves, and another to try to cover everything at once and wish for things no one else has mentioned.
Remember: a short speech is more impactful and appropriate.
To feel at ease and avoid tiring other guests, aim to keep your toast within one to two minutes.
Don’t offer life advice
Not all wedding guests remember that some topics are off-limits during toasts.
This is especially true for wishes related to family expansion, which can be a sensitive subject for many reasons, from personal preferences to health issues.
Surprisingly, this rule applies to both distant acquaintances and close relatives who might be overly curious about the couple’s private life.
Respect the speaker
Toast etiquette applies not only to the speaker but also to the audience.
Even if you feel confident speaking to a crowd, not everyone does.
Be attentive and empathetic to the person holding the microphone.
Avoid making noise or interrupting them, and let them finish their thought in a supportive environment.
Additionally, avoid staring directly into the speaker’s eyes, as this can be very intimidating.